Side effect of "Adrenaline" rush...

Few nights back,
I was coming back from my work. It was 1:30 in the night. I was riding my Pulsar. Driving is my passion and I love Bikes more than any other vehicles...
The Road was clear and I enjoyed the 10 km ride... When I reached my flat, I saw that the gate to the parking lot was opened slightly. The "Adrenaline rush" in my vains was not over and I wanted to check whether I could slide my bike through that narrow opening...
I could have stopped the bike and opened the gate (as I do everyday). But somedays, I can't stop myself from doing these type of crazy things. Most of the times I will succeed, but sometimes it endsup in a tragedy.

So, I positioned the bike, vroomed towards the gate and took a sudden turn toward the gate to slide in through the gap. (The gate is on a 90 degree angle to the Road and is 2 feet high from the road. That was the thrilling factor which ignited the whole event). Due to the evening rain, the cement floor was slippery and the bike slipped towards the right. I managed to regain the balance and accelerated again. The bike entered the parking lot, without any scratch but my right knee hit the gate and the gate vibrated like a Tuning fork... (If you dont know what is a tuning fork, understand that it is a 'Y' shaped tool which makes high frequency sound waves when it is striked with something). The sound is like "MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............. The Iron Gate vibrated and created the exact sound as a tuning fork. But it was not audible to others because of the AAAAAWWWW... which came from my mouth. Two stray dogs were standing there, watching this action scene and even they repeated, Aaaawwww....

Hearing the sound, the guy who stays in the ground floor came out to check what happened there. I managed to bring a smile to my face as if nothing happened. he murmured something and went back.
It was not a serious injury but it pained like hell. I stay in the first floor and till that day, I did'nt knew the exact number of steps to my room. But after that night, I remember each one of the steps. I thought that atleast one week of bedrest will be required. Luckily, it was not that serious. I applied some balm and slept. In the morning, small pain was there but I was okay. Now, for atleast one month, I will not do any such foolish things. But there are some things that we can't control....

Me, Myself...

Yesterday, one of my friend and collegue: Laura, wrote a post in her blog about a Guy!!!

You will be worndering "what is so special in it?"

Its special because the name of that blog is

Women 150.

A blog named "women 150" having an article about a guy... Special, isn't it???

I'm excited about it because, that guy is...................

"Me!!!!!!!"

(Claps...)

Okay. Okay. Now, let me come to the point... She "accused" that the only topic that I like to write is

"me & Myself".

I think She's right and that explains my silence for one month... coz the last month was not that good for me and I was not in a mood to write anything about me...

Now, that I have to prove that She's wrong (even if it is the truth)...I sat down to write some thing about any complex topic...

First I thought of writing about the most complex thing on earth..."Women".
Then I realized that it is like jumping from Petronas tower, after eating cynide. If I made any mistake due to the lack of experience, my girl-friends (Not what you think... I meant my Friends, who are girls) will kill me... (Did I told you that the lady in the first paragraph is a strong feminist and also visits the Gym everyday???). So I dropped that idea.

Then I thought of writing about world economy...

As my current economy is shaken due to some unexpected events, I dropped that also...

Then I thought..... Hey!!!!! I think the topic came back to the square one... Me, Myself...!!!

Now I realized that I have to try real hard to write on other topics...

May be the next time... I will be successfull.

When my Creativity eloped with Commonsense...

I've not posted anything in the last week...
It is because my creativity got really pissed off, when I disturbed him from his lazy life style and started using it frequently. He was so irritated by it and one day he eloped!!! When I sat down to write a post and called him, there was no response. I knocked at his door but no reply... I pushed the door gently and it was open. The room was empty and I got a letter from the table. With trembling hands, I took the letter and read it. Here's the content of the letter...

Mr Abru,
I am fed up with the recent changes in your attitude towards me. I was living happily till now. Once you started posting your blog, you are exploiting my services... Previously I used to get lot of free time and I was living happily inside your mind. You already know that I am not so strong and energetic like my neighbour stupidity or his cousin foolishness. But let me remind you one thing. They are also really annoyed by the continuous work. I can't stand your continuous torture and work like a dog every day. So I'm leaving for a long leave. I hope that you will learn a lesson from this and will change back to the older lifestyle. I will comeback only if you agree my following terms and conditions.
1) Will not torture me with heavy workload.
2) Will allow to take leaves whenever I want.

One more thing...
As I'll be bored if I went alone, I'm taking my girlfriend Commonsense, along with me... She told me that she has told her friend Stupidity to work for her. So you have to adjust with him.
May or may not be back. Don't search for me...
yours,
Creativity.

That is the reason why I'm not posting anything. One can adjust without creativity. But without commonsense? I understood that it is a real risk for life...
No, I'm not interested in revealing the effects of living one entire week, with stupidity in place of Commonsense. Just understand that it is like Bungee jumping without the rope!!!. I've done many blunders which I've never done in my last 24 years. The most simple one is stopping the treadmill by pulling out the key, while I’m running on it at 8 km/hr. I don't know why I did it!!! But after that I realized why I should not do it again!!! Now you can guess the severity of the rest.

Dear creativity and Commonsense,
if you are reading this post, please come back. I'm ready to accept all your conditions. Be aware that you will not get so much free time, anywhere else in the world... Remember those old days... Come back...
Yours obediently,
Abru.

Friendly, Neighbourhood Spiderman...

Among the super heroes, my Favourite hero is Spiderman.
It might be because he is the only one who does not wear his underwear over his pants... or due to the effect of Spiderman comics which I used to read in my childhood days. But, I used to read Superman comics also. However, I was more attracted towards Spiderman and in my childhood days I always wanted to be a Spiderman. I know many children who wanted the same thing. Those days I was so innocent that I did'nt realize the problems of being Spiderman.

According to the story, Peter Parker became spiderman by the bite of a spider. But Spider spins its web through another part of his body. But the Spiderman spins his web through his wrist!!!!! How come!!!! So, If I managed to get a bite from such a spider, what is the guarantee that it will be the same with me?? If the web mechanism got fixed in the same position like a spider, how will I travel like spiderman??? I'm not that good in aiming with my ass!!!! (I practice it every morning.) Leave that, even if your face is covered by a mask, how humiliating it will be to appear infront people supported by a web from the ass!!!
Even if I managed to improve my aiming skills and I became shameless to appear infront of people like that, how will I travel so fast in India?? We dont have such tall buildings in all the places. Also I will be electricuted by the electric lines if I tried to swing across the street from the small buildings....
The various banners tied across the streets will be another problem. If I tear down the banner of any political party, they may declare a "Bandh" or "Harthaal" against me. So the safest method is going by bus or auto. You people will be wondering, Why Bus or Auto??? Why not a Spider Bike or Spider Car like Batman???. The reason is, if I used it, the enemies will note the number and will catch me when I'm sleeping in my room. If I decided to remove the Number plate to hide my identity, Traffic police will catch me.... So I prefer Auto or Bus.

Another problem is with the Spider suit. I dont want the type of suit which Peter parker wears. It has many drawbacks. First of all, it is too tight, covers all over the body without any ventilation but even after wearing it, you looks naked!!
Next issue is that there are no openings in that suit. Not even for pissing. What if your fight against evil went for extra time???

Now, the last and most dangerous issue. What will happen if some one sprayed some HIT or MORTEIN on me??

Thinking all these, I've decided. I don't want to be a Spiderman.

Recently, I met another die hard fan of Spiderman. Its the 4 year old nephew of my friend. He is so dedicated in his aim and he runs after every spider he sees to make it bite him and become Spiderman. When I visited his place, my friend asked me to frame some story to stop this dangerous addiction. I tried to explain him the drawbacks but nothing worked. Later, we convinced him that it is not an Ordinary spider and that type of spider is found only in Usbakisthan. He believed it and is waiting to get a Job so that he can earn money to go to Usbakisthan in search of that spider.

When I attacked my friend with a hand made BOMB...

It was a x'mas vacation time. I was in 6th standard... After roaming here and there, I reached home in the evening. When I reached, my Mom told me that my friend fell into the empty pit in their backyard and was taken to the hospital. I expressed my shock but left the scenario without any further comments. I entered my room and recalled the incidents which happened a few hours back.

Flash back:
As it was x'mas season, there were a lot of crackers kept in my house. Even though it was purchased for me, I was not allowed to touch it without the supervision of elders. However, I managed to smuggle one packet to my room successfully. After the lunch, I took the packet and went to our terrace. (It is my secret laboratory where I conduct most of my illegal experiments). That day I was so happy coz I had a most precious raw material to experiment with. I opened the covering of some crackers and collected the powder in a small plastic can. My idea was to create a bigger cracker or in other words, a "BOMB". I succeeded in the process and created the Bomb. I was so happy with my latest creation and decided to test its functionality. In my imagination, I became a brave soldier who is guarding the castle(My house) for his country and my friends backyard became pakistan. So I lit the fuse of the Bomb and tossed it across the boundary wall. It went across the wall and disappeared from my sight and "BOOM".... I heard the blasting victory of my experiment.

Just after the blast, I heard another sound... Aaaaaaaa....!!!!. It was my friend voice.... It pulled me back from my imaginary battle field to real world. I realized the situation and ran off from that spot... I came back after one hour to check the situation and I got the news from my Mom.

After reaching home, I was sitting in the room, thinking about the consequences that I will have to face when my friend comes back from Hospital. I was so tensed.... and time was ticking away.... Then I heard the sound of my friend.
My heart started beating fast.... I came out and saw my friend standing at the door, with a bandage in his left arm. I was trembling but managed to smile at him. My mom was enquiring about the incident. He called me out and started walking towards the backyard. We reached near that pit. I assumed that he is going to take revenge by throwing me in to the pit(He was really stronger than me). I was so scared but was not able to do anything . I was going to apologize but before that, he started talking:

"Do you know what happened?... I was sitting near that pit experimenting with some crackers...." (See!! that's why we are friends.... Both of us gets the same type of crazy ideas at the same time!!!!) he continued, "I heard a sound and I saw a flame flying towards me... I jumped away from it and fell to the pit. It missed me by few inches and it blasted. Do you know what was it????" He asked me with a mysterious smile.... I was sweating like anything... I tried to mumble something.. but he again stopped me. He came near me and passed that shocking secret to my ears.
"IT WAS A METEOR!!!!!!!!".

I don't have any words to explain the feeling that I felt at that moment. Till this date, he don't know that it was a man made Meteor and his best pal was behind it.....

NB: His parents saw the crackers near the pit and still believe that it was his experiment that misfired and the Meteor is a story that he made to hide that...!!!!.

Going Home........

Hi,Today evening, I'm leaving for kerala. 9-Days leave.
9 Full days in my home means....
9 days with no work....
No tensions...
Delicious, homely food by the worlds greatest cook- My Mom.
Old friends....
My Room...
My Bed....
I am going after 3 months.
So I'm excited about the trip....
Bye all......
See you later with some other posts....

Nobody is born as a flirt, the situations make them so...

When I was born, I was also an Innocent descent boy. There are some rumours that I winked at the Nurse who was present in the Labour room. It is a lie spread by my friend who wants to prove that I was born as a flirt. But Noooo... It is not true. The situations made me like this.

We had a building in our same compound, next to my house. It was not being used for anything and when I was 2yrs, my Grandfather leased it out to someone, who started a Tutorial college on that building. That too Girls only.... Because of that, from my second year in life, I started seeing the colorful side of life.... Still I thank my grand father for making such a wonderful decision. So my every mornig started with the view of beautifull girls going to the college. As it was next to my house, the girls could be seens always. In the evening, I will see the return march of the girls.... So every day, I was surrounded by girls, girls and girls..... Morning, noon, evening.... all day long....
I was so cute in my child hood days. Really!!! I was so cute as I am right now.
Somethings... Never change......
Because of that, all the girls will come to see me every day. So I made my first proposal at the age of three!!! One day, I went for a marriage with my mom. There, some one cracked a joke about my wedding. They all laughed at it and forgot it as a silly joke. But something struck my innocent mind. I realized that I should also marry someone. Then I remembered the beautiful face of a girl who used to meet me every day. That time I didn't care that I was 3 and she was in her 20's. Its true.. Love is blind.
Next day, when she came to meet me, with her usual gift "Parrys Orange candy", I called my Mom and declared my decision. My First love was shattered by the non-stop laugh of my Mom and my sweetheart. She gave me a kiss and walked away, laughing!! It was the most sweet rejection which I faced in my entire Life. I was too sad by my failure and did'nt ate the candy which she gave.
I recovered from that shock, when I saw my new Nursery teacher.....When all other children were dragged into the class, I was so happy to go to the nursery and used to drag my Mom, who used to come with me to drop me there. Every day I will get a flower for my teacher. At that age I was not aware of the importance of Rose in an affair. So I used to get her "Shoe flower", "Jasmine" etc. After all, a flower is a flower. The affair was going on smooth.... Later I understood that she was cheating me.... She was receiving flowers from my classmate Anoop also....
My Heart broke again...... Days passed and I reached 1st standard. day by day, I was improving my skills in flirting. One day I fell down while trying to do some stunts to impress Reshma from 2B. I hit my head on a stone and I got partial amnesia!!!!!! From that day, my flirting skills were gone and I was afraid to talk with girls!!! Years passed and a lot of water ran under the "Kalady" bridge. I was turning into a Handsome young man. But what to do... my flirting skills were gone after that accident... After wasting 11 years, I entered my college to earn a degree...

On my first day in college, I was ragged by my seniors and one guy hit me on my head.....BLING!!!! Some stars appeared infront of my eyes... He had hit me on the exact spot with the correct pressure and I my Partial amnesia was gone. I remembered my old skills.... and realized that I have wasted 11 precious years.
From that day... I started flirting again..... I agree that I am doing a little extra, but I have to compensate for my 11 years....

Now tell me, is it my fault that I became a flirt???

If my Grandfather had given that building to start a Gym, I would have become a Mr. Universe.

If he had given it to start a Party office, I would have become Prime minister.

If he had given it to start a theatre, I would have become a superstar.

But the decision was made when I was not in a situation to think about my future....
That is why I say,

Nobody is born as a flirt, the situations make them so...

What If I got GOD's duty for one day...

Recently I saw "Bruce almighty". Its a Jim Carrey Movie. In that film, Jim gets the powers of GOD, temporarily. When I saw that movie, I wondered what will I do, if I got such power????

When I asked my friend, she told that it will be like "giving a garland to a monkey". (Its an old malayalam idiom). She meant, I will ruin the world with my crazy Ideas. However, here's what what will happen if GOD wants to go on a holiday and I am made "LIJO ALMIGHTY" for one day!!!!!!!!!!! Now dont ask me why should he choose me, above all other Dicks and harrys in this world??? Its a secret deal between us.

The first thing I will do is with my memories...If the memories are stored in brain, then I will replace my brain with a Hard disk so that I can delete all the un-pleasent memories from my hard drive. And load only the details which is important or entertaining. It will be great to tune up my brain every day according to my needs. I can load various programs and delete all the crap which hurts my heart.

There will be some problems which I will have to face.... in every single moment, one or the other will be praying to me!!!! That too in of different different languages!!!! How will I understand each ones needs??? If I gave a blind "YES" to all, will it be Okay??. I'm scared to give that "ye"s coz what will happen if two prayers are conflicting each other? For eg: What If a women is pregnent and the father prays for a girl and mother prays for a boy??? If I gave yes to both and it resulted in twins, then it is okay. What if the child turned out to be a She-male?? I think he Outsources those jobs to some other place. I will also find that place and give the project to them. I too need some time to enjoy the newly acquired powers.....

Here comes my second question.....
As I am handling the post of GOD, does that implies that I should use my power for good things only??? Come-on!!!! if there is some crappy rule like that, what is the fun with those powers????
My mom used to say that there is nothing hidden from the eyes of GOD. So, if I got the power, all the bloody things happening in this entire world will flash infront of my eyes like the flash back scenes shown in Movies!!! If that is the case, how will I sit relaxed???So, I have to out source that also...

I have heard that GOD is available in all the places. I am only one!! How can I be present in all the places. In that case, I have to make my clones. So I can send them to do the work and I can relax... But what if my clones start a battle against me to take my position?? If the clones have the same powers, who will win the battle???
So thinking all these, I have decided one thing. I will not try to utilize the powers on that day. Iwill just sit in heaven, enjoy the sceneries and create one Magic ring for me. The Magic ring will have the powers to fullfill all my wishes. So that will be the only job done on that day. Next day, I will relieve myself from the duty, come back to earth and will start using the Ring!!!!! How is my Idea???
Okay enough of the crap!!! Let me stop here otherwise, if anyone read it bychance, they will kill me...
GOD, you are great...

Confession about my love...

Hi,

I am going to confess about a love affair which I had for a long time. It is true that I never realized it untill now. I was not aware that she was so important in my life!!!!!!!
It's true that when something is with you, you will not recognize the worth. You will realize it only when it is gone. When she was with me, I did'nt realized the worth. Now when I am not able to reach her, I understood how important she was to me..........

I know that she's suitable for me, because my mom introduced her......
Everyday, she was there for me, and many times I've ignored her completely....... She never complained.......!!!! She never left me.......!!!!!!!! Whenever I needed her, she was there without any complaints against me.... She never gave me a chance to get bored of her..... She used to come in different styles and makeup........ So every time it was a feast for me............... But I never cared for her and never complimented her.......

But now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's not in my life...............
I can't go near her..............
Sometimes my heart will say to me.... "Run to her, take her in your arms and................."
But I'm afraid.......... It may end in my death........
I'm a coward......
But I miss her so much.........

"Oh my dear chicken... I miss you three times a day..."

Arre yaar.........Yeh Bird Flu ka threat kab khatham hoga.....