What If I got GOD's duty for one day...

Recently I saw "Bruce almighty". Its a Jim Carrey Movie. In that film, Jim gets the powers of GOD, temporarily. When I saw that movie, I wondered what will I do, if I got such power????

When I asked my friend, she told that it will be like "giving a garland to a monkey". (Its an old malayalam idiom). She meant, I will ruin the world with my crazy Ideas. However, here's what what will happen if GOD wants to go on a holiday and I am made "LIJO ALMIGHTY" for one day!!!!!!!!!!! Now dont ask me why should he choose me, above all other Dicks and harrys in this world??? Its a secret deal between us.

The first thing I will do is with my memories...If the memories are stored in brain, then I will replace my brain with a Hard disk so that I can delete all the un-pleasent memories from my hard drive. And load only the details which is important or entertaining. It will be great to tune up my brain every day according to my needs. I can load various programs and delete all the crap which hurts my heart.

There will be some problems which I will have to face.... in every single moment, one or the other will be praying to me!!!! That too in of different different languages!!!! How will I understand each ones needs??? If I gave a blind "YES" to all, will it be Okay??. I'm scared to give that "ye"s coz what will happen if two prayers are conflicting each other? For eg: What If a women is pregnent and the father prays for a girl and mother prays for a boy??? If I gave yes to both and it resulted in twins, then it is okay. What if the child turned out to be a She-male?? I think he Outsources those jobs to some other place. I will also find that place and give the project to them. I too need some time to enjoy the newly acquired powers.....

Here comes my second question.....
As I am handling the post of GOD, does that implies that I should use my power for good things only??? Come-on!!!! if there is some crappy rule like that, what is the fun with those powers????
My mom used to say that there is nothing hidden from the eyes of GOD. So, if I got the power, all the bloody things happening in this entire world will flash infront of my eyes like the flash back scenes shown in Movies!!! If that is the case, how will I sit relaxed???So, I have to out source that also...

I have heard that GOD is available in all the places. I am only one!! How can I be present in all the places. In that case, I have to make my clones. So I can send them to do the work and I can relax... But what if my clones start a battle against me to take my position?? If the clones have the same powers, who will win the battle???
So thinking all these, I have decided one thing. I will not try to utilize the powers on that day. Iwill just sit in heaven, enjoy the sceneries and create one Magic ring for me. The Magic ring will have the powers to fullfill all my wishes. So that will be the only job done on that day. Next day, I will relieve myself from the duty, come back to earth and will start using the Ring!!!!! How is my Idea???
Okay enough of the crap!!! Let me stop here otherwise, if anyone read it bychance, they will kill me...
GOD, you are great...

Confession about my love...

Hi,

I am going to confess about a love affair which I had for a long time. It is true that I never realized it untill now. I was not aware that she was so important in my life!!!!!!!
It's true that when something is with you, you will not recognize the worth. You will realize it only when it is gone. When she was with me, I did'nt realized the worth. Now when I am not able to reach her, I understood how important she was to me..........

I know that she's suitable for me, because my mom introduced her......
Everyday, she was there for me, and many times I've ignored her completely....... She never complained.......!!!! She never left me.......!!!!!!!! Whenever I needed her, she was there without any complaints against me.... She never gave me a chance to get bored of her..... She used to come in different styles and makeup........ So every time it was a feast for me............... But I never cared for her and never complimented her.......

But now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's not in my life...............
I can't go near her..............
Sometimes my heart will say to me.... "Run to her, take her in your arms and................."
But I'm afraid.......... It may end in my death........
I'm a coward......
But I miss her so much.........

"Oh my dear chicken... I miss you three times a day..."

Arre yaar.........Yeh Bird Flu ka threat kab khatham hoga.....