Saturday, March 25, 2006

Friendly, Neighbourhood Spiderman...

Among the super heroes, my Favourite hero is Spiderman.
It might be because he is the only one who does not wear his underwear over his pants... or due to the effect of Spiderman comics which I used to read in my childhood days. But, I used to read Superman comics also. However, I was more attracted towards Spiderman and in my childhood days I always wanted to be a Spiderman. I know many children who wanted the same thing. Those days I was so innocent that I did'nt realize the problems of being Spiderman.

According to the story, Peter Parker became spiderman by the bite of a spider. But Spider spins its web through another part of his body. But the Spiderman spins his web through his wrist!!!!! How come!!!! So, If I managed to get a bite from such a spider, what is the guarantee that it will be the same with me?? If the web mechanism got fixed in the same position like a spider, how will I travel like spiderman??? I'm not that good in aiming with my ass!!!! (I practice it every morning.) Leave that, even if your face is covered by a mask, how humiliating it will be to appear infront people supported by a web from the ass!!!
Even if I managed to improve my aiming skills and I became shameless to appear infront of people like that, how will I travel so fast in India?? We dont have such tall buildings in all the places. Also I will be electricuted by the electric lines if I tried to swing across the street from the small buildings....
The various banners tied across the streets will be another problem. If I tear down the banner of any political party, they may declare a "Bandh" or "Harthaal" against me. So the safest method is going by bus or auto. You people will be wondering, Why Bus or Auto??? Why not a Spider Bike or Spider Car like Batman???. The reason is, if I used it, the enemies will note the number and will catch me when I'm sleeping in my room. If I decided to remove the Number plate to hide my identity, Traffic police will catch me.... So I prefer Auto or Bus.

Another problem is with the Spider suit. I dont want the type of suit which Peter parker wears. It has many drawbacks. First of all, it is too tight, covers all over the body without any ventilation but even after wearing it, you looks naked!!
Next issue is that there are no openings in that suit. Not even for pissing. What if your fight against evil went for extra time???

Now, the last and most dangerous issue. What will happen if some one sprayed some HIT or MORTEIN on me??

Thinking all these, I've decided. I don't want to be a Spiderman.

Recently, I met another die hard fan of Spiderman. Its the 4 year old nephew of my friend. He is so dedicated in his aim and he runs after every spider he sees to make it bite him and become Spiderman. When I visited his place, my friend asked me to frame some story to stop this dangerous addiction. I tried to explain him the drawbacks but nothing worked. Later, we convinced him that it is not an Ordinary spider and that type of spider is found only in Usbakisthan. He believed it and is waiting to get a Job so that he can earn money to go to Usbakisthan in search of that spider.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

When I attacked my friend with a hand made BOMB...

It was a x'mas vacation time. I was in 6th standard... After roaming here and there, I reached home in the evening. When I reached, my Mom told me that my friend fell into the empty pit in their backyard and was taken to the hospital. I expressed my shock but left the scenario without any further comments. I entered my room and recalled the incidents which happened a few hours back.

Flash back:
As it was x'mas season, there were a lot of crackers kept in my house. Even though it was purchased for me, I was not allowed to touch it without the supervision of elders. However, I managed to smuggle one packet to my room successfully. After the lunch, I took the packet and went to our terrace. (It is my secret laboratory where I conduct most of my illegal experiments). That day I was so happy coz I had a most precious raw material to experiment with. I opened the covering of some crackers and collected the powder in a small plastic can. My idea was to create a bigger cracker or in other words, a "BOMB". I succeeded in the process and created the Bomb. I was so happy with my latest creation and decided to test its functionality. In my imagination, I became a brave soldier who is guarding the castle(My house) for his country and my friends backyard became pakistan. So I lit the fuse of the Bomb and tossed it across the boundary wall. It went across the wall and disappeared from my sight and "BOOM".... I heard the blasting victory of my experiment.

Just after the blast, I heard another sound... Aaaaaaaa....!!!!. It was my friend voice.... It pulled me back from my imaginary battle field to real world. I realized the situation and ran off from that spot... I came back after one hour to check the situation and I got the news from my Mom.

After reaching home, I was sitting in the room, thinking about the consequences that I will have to face when my friend comes back from Hospital. I was so tensed.... and time was ticking away.... Then I heard the sound of my friend.
My heart started beating fast.... I came out and saw my friend standing at the door, with a bandage in his left arm. I was trembling but managed to smile at him. My mom was enquiring about the incident. He called me out and started walking towards the backyard. We reached near that pit. I assumed that he is going to take revenge by throwing me in to the pit(He was really stronger than me). I was so scared but was not able to do anything . I was going to apologize but before that, he started talking:


"Do you know what happened?... I was sitting near that pit experimenting with some crackers...." (See!! that's why we are friends.... Both of us gets the same type of crazy ideas at the same time!!!!) he continued, "I heard a sound and I saw a flame flying towards me... I jumped away from it and fell to the pit. It missed me by few inches and it blasted. Do you know what was it????" He asked me with a mysterious smile.... I was sweating like anything... I tried to mumble something.. but he again stopped me. He came near me and passed that shocking secret to my ears.
"IT WAS A METEOR!!!!!!!!".

I don't have any words to explain the feeling that I felt at that moment. Till this date, he don't know that it was a man made Meteor and his best pal was behind it.....

NB: His parents saw the crackers near the pit and still believe that it was his experiment that misfired and the Meteor is a story that he made to hide that...!!!!.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Going Home........

Hi,Today evening, I'm leaving for kerala. 9-Days leave.
9 Full days in my home means....
9 days with no work....
No tensions...
Delicious, homely food by the worlds greatest cook- My Mom.
Old friends....
My Room...
My Bed....
I am going after 3 months.

So I'm excited about the trip....
Bye all......

See you later with some other posts....

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Nobody is born as a flirt, the situations make them so...


When I was born, I was also an Innocent descent boy. There are some rumours that I winked at the Nurse who was present in the Labour room. It is a lie spread by my friend who wants to prove that I was born as a flirt. But Noooo... It is not true. The situations made me like this.

We had a building in our same compound, next to my house. It was not being used for anything and when I was 2yrs, my Grandfather leased it out to someone, who started a Tutorial college on that building. That too Girls only.... Because of that, from my second year in life, I started seeing the colorful side of life.... Still I thank my grand father for making such a wonderful decision. So my every mornig started with the view of beautifull girls going to the college. As it was next to my house, the girls could be seens always. In the evening, I will see the return march of the girls.... So every day, I was surrounded by girls, girls and girls..... Morning, noon, evening.... all day long....
I was so cute in my child hood days. Really!!! I was so cute as I am right now.
Somethings... Never change......
Because of that, all the girls will come to see me every day. So I made my first proposal at the age of three!!! One day, I went for a marriage with my mom. There, some one cracked a joke about my wedding. They all laughed at it and forgot it as a silly joke. But something struck my innocent mind. I realized that I should also marry someone. Then I remembered the beautiful face of a girl who used to meet me every day. That time I didn't care that I was 3 and she was in her 20's. Its true.. Love is blind.
Next day, when she came to meet me, with her usual gift "Parrys Orange candy", I called my Mom and declared my decision. My First love was shattered by the non-stop laugh of my Mom and my sweetheart. She gave me a kiss and walked away, laughing!! It was the most sweet rejection which I faced in my entire Life. I was too sad by my failure and did'nt ate the candy which she gave.
I recovered from that shock, when I saw my new Nursery teacher.....When all other children were dragged into the class, I was so happy to go to the nursery and used to drag my Mom, who used to come with me to drop me there. Every day I will get a flower for my teacher. At that age I was not aware of the importance of Rose in an affair. So I used to get her "Shoe flower", "Jasmine" etc. After all, a flower is a flower. The affair was going on smooth.... Later I understood that she was cheating me.... She was receiving flowers from my classmate Anoop also....
My Heart broke again...... Days passed and I reached 1st standard. day by day, I was improving my skills in flirting. One day I fell down while trying to do some stunts to impress Reshma from 2B. I hit my head on a stone and I got partial amnesia!!!!!! From that day, my flirting skills were gone and I was afraid to talk with girls!!! Years passed and a lot of water ran under the "Kalady" bridge. I was turning into a Handsome young man. But what to do... my flirting skills were gone after that accident... After wasting 11 years, I entered my college to earn a degree...

On my first day in college, I was ragged by my seniors and one guy hit me on my head.....BLING!!!! Some stars appeared infront of my eyes... He had hit me on the exact spot with the correct pressure and I my Partial amnesia was gone. I remembered my old skills.... and realized that I have wasted 11 precious years.
From that day... I started flirting again..... I agree that I am doing a little extra, but I have to compensate for my 11 years....

Now tell me, is it my fault that I became a flirt???

If my Grandfather had given that building to start a Gym, I would have become a Mr. Universe.

If he had given it to start a Party office, I would have become Prime minister.

If he had given it to start a theatre, I would have become a superstar.

But the decision was made when I was not in a situation to think about my future....
That is why I say,

Nobody is born as a flirt, the situations make them so...